I don’t understand suicide. People think that they don’t need to try to get through hard times, so they decide to kill themselves. Someone - I think one of my school counselors - once said that “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” That is the absolute truth. They think that their problem is so bad that they need to die to get a way from it, when in fact if they’d just stick with it a little longer they’d be just fine - and often better than when they started. Also, they believe that everyone else’s life would be a lot better without them around, when in fact if they succeed at committing suicide they leave a living hell for their family, friends, and everyone else to deal with.
Suicide is often tied together with Depression. Most people believe that Depression is a metabolic disorder, caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. I think that is a complete lie. Sure, it is caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, but I believe the imbalance is psychological and not biological. I believe that Depression is a massive case of Hypochondria, with the person convincing themselves that they should go depressed. This is evident in the way they go depressed. For example, I’ve known several people that tried to commit suicide because their boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with them. They think that they are so horrible of a person that their lover left them, and that there is nothing left in life for them. What they don’t realize that is that these things happen to everyone everywhere, and that, if they would just hold through it, they’d have the experience to find a person they were more compatible with.
Often you’ll get kids that think everyone hates them. Almost always this is caused by them being unruly, unreasonable, rebellious kids that are not pleasant to be around. Because of something they chose themselves, they think that everybody hates them, while they fail to realize that they are not being a normal, nice to be around kind of person.
Sure, there are exceptions to this. There are people out their that have a literal physical composition that causes a chemical imbalance. But for the most part, I believe that Depression is a Hypochondriacal disease.
While I’m on the topic, I think I’ll talk about another disease that I think is false. Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Again, there are people that have a physical defect in their brain that causes the chemical imbalances that belong to these diseases (I know a few), but for the most part it’s a lie. Even more so than Depression. Let me explain.
A kid misbehaves in a way that is associated with ADD. The parent sees this, failing to think clearly enough to discipline the child, and goes “oh no. Let’s get him tested for ADD” In the mean time, the kid realizes that he didn’t get punished for the behavior (which usually isn’t severe enough to warrant a punishment anyway, it’s just annoying) and so decides to continue it. He get’s tested, and by whatever means that they use to test he is declared to have ADD. So then he is prescribed a medicine that is said to help control ADD - usually Ritalin, but sometimes it’s something else- and is sent home. Now the kid’s doped up on Ritalin, and is continuing the behavior. Thus lies the problem, and the reason I think that ADD is Hypochondriacal. Which means that if a child wants to stop, they’ll stop.
Take me for example. I was diagnosed with ADHD I think when I was six. For a while I took Ritalin, then another drug, then ended up on Dextroamphetamine. If you were to ask my parents, they’d say it worked. But if you ask me, I’d tell you the side effects. I was taking the Ritalin in the nighttime, and when my parent’s would forget to give it to me, I’d have a nightmare. Never failed. I didn’t get it, and I’d have the nightmare (it’s interesting, because it was always a variant of the same nightmare, which was based on a Commodore game I was addicted to at the time- even though I TO THIS DAY haven’t beat it...) I don’t remember the second drug, but as I got into ages 10 and older, the Dextroamphetamine, which I’d take in the morning, would give me severe stomach pain when I didn’t get a chance to get breakfast - with nothing happening when I forgot to take the Amphetamine. One day I decided I was tired of the side effects it had on me, so I just quit. My parent’s didn’t mind much, and since I have noticed no difference in my behavior. I just quit, and nothing happened (which is quite strange since I was taking and Amphetamine...)
I think my ADHD was fictional, as do I think most other cases are fictional.
I am fast approaching the midnight hour, and I must put my computer to rest for now. So until tomorrow, this is J. Millen, signing off.

Saturday, February 1, 2003 10:00 P.M.

The meteorologists say that a storm is coming. One the likes of which have never been seen here in Utah. I say bring it on. I like the rain and snow.
I find it rather interesting how something as simple as the weather can drastically affect how a person feels. For example, several students and one of the counselors I know at my school get sad and slightly depressed on days when it’s raining, while I on the other hand am thrilled. I feel better when it’s raining than on days when the sun is shining fiercely. Now, it’s not that I don’t like the sun, but when it doesn’t belong it does not belong. Winter is supposed to be a time of snow - especially here in Utah, home of the “Greatest Snow on Earth” - not a time for the spring sun. Which brings a further problem that’s not related to what I’m talking about but it’s interesting so I’ll briefly mention it. Here in Salt Lake City, January for the most part was just sun all the time and no snow. However, the air temperature was often very low. This led people to think that they weren’t at risk of sun exposure, thereby leading them to think they didn’t need any sun screen. And of course, because of this, people got sunburned. My time is quickly expiring, so I will end the discussion here for the moment. But I will pick it up tomorrow, as I still have things to say about it.