J. Millen here, running the night shift as a Moderator on a message board for one of my friends as he deals with family problems. His sister is throwing a fit that could cause Antarctica to boil. And it all spawns from that evil music.
Amiel said “Music is harmony, harmony is perfection, perfection is our dream, and our dream is heaven.” Amiel was lucky never to be subject to the forms of anti-music known as Rap and Punk Rock. Those two forms of “music” tear a person apart. They can go from a good person to a person swearing their head off, sleeping around, and doing every other bad thing imaginable. I have seen it happen to many people. And I am seeing it happen to my friend’s sister.
She claims that it is not the music doing this to here, but that’s exactly what it is. Ever since she started listening to Punk Rock, ESPECIALLY Good Charolette, she had been mean, nasty, unwilling to listen, unwilling to surrender, and LOUD!!! It has been proved by psychologists to cause that sort of behavior. Whenever my friend or I try to present that to here, she shuts us out and says “It’s not doing that to me!”, when in fact it is. She as I sit here typing this is spouting off that every body hates her, and she should go kill herself, and that she is absolutely right in EVERY SINGLE respect. She is completely unwilling to listen to her parents, claiming that “things are different now, and you have no idea what I’m going through.” A classic, nearly clichéical statement says “the more things change, the more they stay the same.” Henry David Thoreau said “Things do not change, we do.” Yet she refuses to accept the reason she’s changed as the reason. And that causes all the problems.
All she ever talks about, when she’s not yelling at her family about EVERYTHING, is Good Charolette. All she listens to is Good Charolette. Her wall is literally wallpapered with pictures of them. She plans on being one of their members for Haloween. Yet they don’t affect her? I’m sorry, but a human brain doesn’t work that way.
She claims that she likes the music because she “relates to it.” She claims that it’s telling real emotions. Not hardly. Music is written to sell. Mack Jagger once said in regards to his band that “we write our music to cause teenagers to have sex.” Once it becomes the source of income, a person will write music so it will sell. And let me just share a couple of messages in these songs.
The Anthem talks about not doing what every one else does in their adult life, a choice which leaves crime as the alternative. It also discusses masturbation. Most of this music is listened to by young teenagers, many of which (including my friend’s sister when we showed it to her) don’t know what that is. Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous says high profile theft is perfectly allowed. It also says that murder and drug abuse is completely legal. More songs of theirs claim other stuff, but I prefer not dwelling in such filthy sounds for too long.
Depending on how much of a tantrum my friends sister throws tomorrow, I may return to continue this discussion tomorrow. But mark my word, I will return to this discussion at a later date, with a large amount of psychological research to back me up. J. Millen out.

Tuesday, February 4, 2003 9:30 P.M.

Wanna hear something funny? I told you yesterday about the job I had to quit. Well, I went back to job searching afterwards and got an interview lined up for today. My interviewer (an manager) at the job I quit was named Jeremy, and the guy that interviewed me today was also named Jeremy. Is there some ethereal meaning to that? Hmm...
That's not my topic for the day, though. My topic is public transit. Since I don't drive, I had to use Salt Lake City's bus system to get to where I needed to go (which was quite a ways away from my house, mind you). It was okay, my only problem came up when I couldn't tell how far east I was and ended up missing the stop I needed (causing me to have to cross a bridge over I-15 and then find my way - through back roads since I didn't remember the road maps - to where I was going). I had planned my trip to arrive fifteen minutes early, and I ended up walking in the building ten minutes late. Luckily it wasn't anything to be concerned about, and I was fine.
Anyway, my real problem came up when I was finished with the interview. I wasn't sure when I'd be finished with the interview (the lady on the phone when I set up an appointment said two hours!), and so I didn't get myself a copy of the times for the bus I needed to go back. I ended up sitting for just shy of an hour(!) waiting for this bus to come, with no idea when it was going to be there. (Then, because I didn't know there was a stop right next to where I got off, I had to flag down the transfer bus after he left a stop later down the road that I needed to take to finish my trip. The driver said "Don't you know there's a stop right around the corner." So I said, "Uhh... no.")
Anyway, as I sat thinking about it, I came up with my own ideas about how mass transit should be run here in Salt Lake City. Ideas that would make it far more convenient, and so would get more people riding it than in their own private cars, thus cutting down on pollution.
My idea is to increase the number of buses. From the bus routes I've taken in the past couple of weeks, it seems that routes with a high number of passengers have a bus come around once every half hour, and ones with less people have a bus once every hour. In my version, I would have buses coming every fifteen minutes - every ten minutes with high-load routes - thus making the route times far more predictable and therefore convenient. The routes are set well, they cover a considerable distance, minimizing the number of transfers needed, but the wait time is sometimes very long. And I'm not a very patient person.
Think about it. With buses coming so frequently, you don't need to worry much about missing one, because the next one is quickly on it's way. Since people have different travel distances, they can save time by taking a bus that is earlier or later than what they are currently taking. For example, say two people have to be at a place at exactly 12:50. And say the bus comes around at 12:24. Also say the first person has to travel twice as far as the second person, both people stop right in front of where they need to be, and the first person's stop will let him off at 12:42. With a bus every ten minutes, the first person can't alter their schedule, but the second person, who's stop would normally let him off at 12:33, can catch a bus that's ten minutes later, allowing him to get off at 12:43, and thereby give him a little extra time to acomplish things before he leaves. Also, that gives both of them the option of minimizing their losses if they miss there bus, causing the people to only be two and three minutes late rather than 22 minutes and 13 minutes late respectively.
Now this would cost money for more buses of course, which is why it isn't done that way. But if I had the money to spend and were in charge of mass transit, I would set it up that way. Oh well, until then I'm just a rider. Until tomorrow, this is J. Millen, signing off.

Monday, February 3, 2003 10:54 A.M.

Well, it’s started. The groundhog predicted that there would be more winter, and the storm has come in response to that. It’s been snowing since about 1 A.M. last night, and now there’s about three inches outside. That’s good. We need it here. What I don’t understand is why the Eastern States have been hit so hard with weather this year. Oh well. Weather is weird.

Monday, February 3, 2003 8:41 P.M.

You’d be surprised how much a person can focus on their work on a computer when they have a good chair to sit in. I just today got a new chair to sit on in place of the stool I had been using since I broke the last chair, and it’s a lot more comfortable to sit in now. And since I’m more comfortable, I don’t need to use up as much energy shifting my weight so I don’t cramp. But that’s not my purpose for writing today.
I had to deal with something particularly annoying today. Last week I applied for a job at a certain place (to protect the company I won’t name it) that involved selling stuff to people. The advertisement in the Classified section in the newspaper reads quote- “No telemarketing or door to door sales.” However, after two days of training last week, I realized that is exactly what the job involved. Telemarketing and door to door sales. Though it wouldn’t seem like it from the description given in the newspaper and in the interview, the job involves calling people to set appointments and giving demonstrations at their house, tasks which fall into the categories of Telemarketing and Door-to-door sales respectively. And so I quit.
Now don’t get me wrong, the company is a well respected company with a great product. I would have stayed with the company if I had the ability to go around to different people’s houses and demonstrate - which I do not at this time - or I had the patience to wait around on public transportation. But those are things which I do not have, so I had to quit.
Anyway, I went in this morning before the final training session to tell my manager I had to quit, and was deliberately weaving my reasons to hide the fact that I didn’t want to work there. Then he had the gall to tell me I was twisting around my reasons, and then to tell me I was wasting his time during time since he trained me, and now I was going to waste more of his time for him to hire a new person. AND he had the gall to tell me I wasn’t being truthful (which I wasn’t, but there was a reason for that). I didn’t want to confront him at that time (partially because I didn’t think about it until a couple hours after I walked out), so I just left. However, if I see that same ad in the paper again, I think I’m going to grab a law book from the public library (to back up my facts), and go chew him out about it.
He told me I lied to him when I said in the interview that I had transportation. I did not; in fact he didn’t even ask me about transportation. The most that was asked was on the application where it said “Do you own a car?” and I put “yes, but it isn’t currently operational.” He told me I had committed to going around to people’s houses during the interview, when in fact I wasn’t completely sure what at all my job involved (namely calling people up and going to their houses), until the second training session. No time before that had it been explained to me in plain black and white that was the task, but more like 55% grey and 45% grey. I lied? No, it was his hiring strategy that was the one that lied.
In closing, once again I stand by their company. I just think they did a horrible job at the business of getting people to apply. I think they, a very successful company, could become more successful if they would clearly spell out what was involved in the job. Until tomorrow, this is J. Millen, signing off.

Sunday, February 2, 2003 11:05 P.M.

I don’t understand suicide. People think that they don’t need to try to get through hard times, so they decide to kill themselves. Someone - I think one of my school counselors - once said that “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” That is the absolute truth. They think that their problem is so bad that they need to die to get a way from it, when in fact if they’d just stick with it a little longer they’d be just fine - and often better than when they started. Also, they believe that everyone else’s life would be a lot better without them around, when in fact if they succeed at committing suicide they leave a living hell for their family, friends, and everyone else to deal with.
Suicide is often tied together with Depression. Most people believe that Depression is a metabolic disorder, caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. I think that is a complete lie. Sure, it is caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, but I believe the imbalance is psychological and not biological. I believe that Depression is a massive case of Hypochondria, with the person convincing themselves that they should go depressed. This is evident in the way they go depressed. For example, I’ve known several people that tried to commit suicide because their boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with them. They think that they are so horrible of a person that their lover left them, and that there is nothing left in life for them. What they don’t realize that is that these things happen to everyone everywhere, and that, if they would just hold through it, they’d have the experience to find a person they were more compatible with.
Often you’ll get kids that think everyone hates them. Almost always this is caused by them being unruly, unreasonable, rebellious kids that are not pleasant to be around. Because of something they chose themselves, they think that everybody hates them, while they fail to realize that they are not being a normal, nice to be around kind of person.
Sure, there are exceptions to this. There are people out their that have a literal physical composition that causes a chemical imbalance. But for the most part, I believe that Depression is a Hypochondriacal disease.
While I’m on the topic, I think I’ll talk about another disease that I think is false. Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Again, there are people that have a physical defect in their brain that causes the chemical imbalances that belong to these diseases (I know a few), but for the most part it’s a lie. Even more so than Depression. Let me explain.
A kid misbehaves in a way that is associated with ADD. The parent sees this, failing to think clearly enough to discipline the child, and goes “oh no. Let’s get him tested for ADD” In the mean time, the kid realizes that he didn’t get punished for the behavior (which usually isn’t severe enough to warrant a punishment anyway, it’s just annoying) and so decides to continue it. He get’s tested, and by whatever means that they use to test he is declared to have ADD. So then he is prescribed a medicine that is said to help control ADD - usually Ritalin, but sometimes it’s something else- and is sent home. Now the kid’s doped up on Ritalin, and is continuing the behavior. Thus lies the problem, and the reason I think that ADD is Hypochondriacal. Which means that if a child wants to stop, they’ll stop.
Take me for example. I was diagnosed with ADHD I think when I was six. For a while I took Ritalin, then another drug, then ended up on Dextroamphetamine. If you were to ask my parents, they’d say it worked. But if you ask me, I’d tell you the side effects. I was taking the Ritalin in the nighttime, and when my parent’s would forget to give it to me, I’d have a nightmare. Never failed. I didn’t get it, and I’d have the nightmare (it’s interesting, because it was always a variant of the same nightmare, which was based on a Commodore game I was addicted to at the time- even though I TO THIS DAY haven’t beat it...) I don’t remember the second drug, but as I got into ages 10 and older, the Dextroamphetamine, which I’d take in the morning, would give me severe stomach pain when I didn’t get a chance to get breakfast - with nothing happening when I forgot to take the Amphetamine. One day I decided I was tired of the side effects it had on me, so I just quit. My parent’s didn’t mind much, and since I have noticed no difference in my behavior. I just quit, and nothing happened (which is quite strange since I was taking and Amphetamine...)
I think my ADHD was fictional, as do I think most other cases are fictional.
I am fast approaching the midnight hour, and I must put my computer to rest for now. So until tomorrow, this is J. Millen, signing off.

Saturday, February 1, 2003 10:00 P.M.

The meteorologists say that a storm is coming. One the likes of which have never been seen here in Utah. I say bring it on. I like the rain and snow.
I find it rather interesting how something as simple as the weather can drastically affect how a person feels. For example, several students and one of the counselors I know at my school get sad and slightly depressed on days when it’s raining, while I on the other hand am thrilled. I feel better when it’s raining than on days when the sun is shining fiercely. Now, it’s not that I don’t like the sun, but when it doesn’t belong it does not belong. Winter is supposed to be a time of snow - especially here in Utah, home of the “Greatest Snow on Earth” - not a time for the spring sun. Which brings a further problem that’s not related to what I’m talking about but it’s interesting so I’ll briefly mention it. Here in Salt Lake City, January for the most part was just sun all the time and no snow. However, the air temperature was often very low. This led people to think that they weren’t at risk of sun exposure, thereby leading them to think they didn’t need any sun screen. And of course, because of this, people got sunburned. My time is quickly expiring, so I will end the discussion here for the moment. But I will pick it up tomorrow, as I still have things to say about it.